


The cursed joke

by Schildpadje1



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:27:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26593681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schildpadje1/pseuds/Schildpadje1
Summary: Percy does his very best NOT to tell jokes
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	1. How it begins

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RedFlamboyant](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedFlamboyant/gifts).



> I wrote this , maybe to quickly , for Redflamboyant  
> She pitched the idea that Percy's joke literally killed Fred.  
> and it kind of rolled from there .  
> Hope you like it, Orin.
> 
> disclaimer: English isn't my first language so i'm open to kind criticism  
> also, i'm not j.K and own nothing

22nd of August, 1976

Molly looked at the little bundle in her arms; her eyes filled with love and yet.. one small tear staining her cheek.  
" I don't believe it.." she whispers while looking up to her husband.  
"she must have failed.. I feel happy and I still live.. I laugh and smile at him, and i'm still here"  
molly shakes her head in denial  
" Lizzie was wrong; and I'll proof it! Percy is NOT a monster!"

Arthur's shoulders slump a bit  
" I hope you're right, love. for all our sake."  
He walks towards his son and gives him a kiss on the forehead.  
"we'll just... be careful around him, that's all"

******* 

22nd of August, 1979

"Urgh, I'm not feeling so good" "cough, cough"  
Arthur grins when he hears his brother's falls cough.  
"you're not weaseling your way out of this party! Molly made her famous strawberry cake and she'll hex you to Thursday if she finds out you're leaving before pudding!"

Gareth at least has the decency to look apologetic " I just don't feel like talking to aunt Berty. Why did you even invite her? Percy isn't going to remember the old bat being her and she never stops bringing up I once peed in her garden. I was 7 for Merlin's sake; can't she let it go? 

Arthur laughs " well you certainly did! right on her salad " 

" ha to the ha, Arthur, really funny " Gareth said annoyed. 

"look, if you just need to hide away why don't you go upstairs and check on the birthday boy? Percy's taking a nap, but he'll want to come downstairs for his birthday cake." 

Gareth goes upstairs and sees Percy's awake. The kid is making an ugly face and point him self:

"Nana Batty.... Nana Batty... "Alleth pee my gaden! Alleth pee my gaden!" 

He fold his face and frown his temple with the ugliest expression Gareth has ever seen, he can't help but starts laughing at the little rascal 

\-----------

"ARTHUR!!!" Molly sprints down the stairs and in to her husband's arms. " Y... your brother!!!"

He let go of his wife and runs upstairs, only to see his brother laying unmoved with wide grinning face, dead on the bed, with Percy,laughing, next to him  
" unky fun" "unky fun", he keeps repeating.  
in a daze Arthur picks up his kid and goes back downstairs. He hands Percy over to Molly, nearly pushes him on to her.  
" Your kid needs you" he says and Molly can tell something broke in her husband by the way he turns away from all of them.

*******

22nd of August, 1980

Arthur finished to lead his family make a pray on Gareth's memorial.

He sit beside his wife and all his family still gather around talking about their memories; about the dearest Gareth as son, nephew, brother, brother in law and uncle.

Then suddenly a beam of laughter is heard from the guest room.

Arthur's eyes widened along with Molly's.

They run to the room where they left their son had his nap. And found him had awaken, chuckling gleefully with undone diaper and the wet floor.  
"Unky Alleth pee Nana Batty's garden!"  
Aunt Berty sit still beside the crib, with carved laugh on her face.

******* 

5th of May 1984

" MUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!!!!!" " MUM, HELP!!!!!!!"  
Molly drops everything in the kitchen when she hears Charlie's cry for her.  
The moment she arrives at the riverbank she sees something is horribly wrong. Percy, all white, stands next to his friend's lifeless body. He looks up to see his mother  
"We were just laughing and telling jokes, mummy" she hears him whisper as she pulls him into an embrace. " I know you told me not to, but he said i'm no fun, .. please don't tell dad"  
Molly cradles him in her arms and gently leads him to the house. 

\-----------------  
In the evening Molly explains to her husband what happened and they decide it's time to talk to Percy

"Percy, sit down sweety, we have to tell you something.."  
Percy sits nervously on his chair. He doesn't understand how this can be his fault, but he just KNOWS it was something he did.  
"Sweety, we should've told you before, but when your mother was pregnant with you, we got in a bit of a mash with a faerie.  
Stupid thing to do, really, but she did have the weirdest name I've ever heard and i just had to point it out. Looking back it was so immature and such a silly thing to get cursed over.  
We tried to make amends but she cursed our baby, you, to bring death with every laugh you make."

During Arthur's explanation he sees his son turning from white to green to ash.  
" I promise you, Pers, we'll find a way!'  
He tries to take his son's hand in his but Percy pulls away.  
"You've done enough already, dad." Percy says angrily  
"Where was this? I'll try and talk to her myself! I have to apologize for YOUR mistakes and hope she'll undo her curse on me.


	2. How it ends

When Percy comes back, everybody notices a change in him.  
The child is more reserved, he's more strict, he keeps track of everything and launches himself in his schoolwork.  
He locks himself in his room and not even his infamous two joker twin-brothers can get him to loosen up even the slightest 

/p>/p>

Years pass by and on his 21st birthday Rosmerta finds herself with a silent and lonely drinker at her bar.  
She starts to close down the place. " Here you go, Percy, a last one on the house; but after this one it's time to leave."  
She winks at him; expecting the usual .. ' you coming with me' crap all the other drunks try on her.  
But Percy just silently accept the drink and salutes her before having a taste.  
"I see your brothers here on occasion, but you don't come here nearly enough for a Weasley, why I'd .."

"look, Rosmerta," Percy interject "just don't, ok? I'm not in the mood to chitchat.. /p>I just have to survive one more year and then I can get on with my life. Just let me sit here in peace and .."  
"What'll happen in a year? " Rosmerta asks curiously

Percy looks at her and seems to hesitate /p> "Bartenders vow I won't spill the beans on you" she says while crossing her heart.  
Percy reluctantly starts to talk  
" Mum and dad told me a few years ago they pissed off some faerie and got cursed.  
I found her, sweet lill' thing, really and when we started talking she must've taken a liking in me.  
It was the first time in a very long time someone laughed and didn't get hurt!  
She countered her own curse and told me I'd be freed at my 22nd birthday Or if i'd made one of my siblings laugh with a joke. It would kill them and set me free."

Rosmerta looked at Percy with shock on her face.  
"Surely you can't .."/p>  
" NO! No! I'm being careful!  
Percy slumps in the chair and finishes his glass. He wipes the hair out of his eyes and looks at Rosmerta  
"sigh" " I can't be funny; you see.. it'll, most literally, kill them..  
He puts the now empty glass on the table and walks out.; stared after by a stunned Rosmerta 

She rolls her eyes and continuous to close up  
" from all the drunk bullshit i ever had to listen to... " 

/p> 2nd of may 1998/p>

George jumps in front of Percy and just nearly protects him from a Petrificus Totalus. The spell bounces of the protection shield and hits the death eater, who falls down. "Thanks" Percy pants and in return throws a Stupefy spell at one of the other death eaters approaching. when he looks on, Percy sees Thickness among the fighters:

"Hello, Minister!" bellowed Percy, sending a neat jinx straight at Thicknesse, who dropped his wand and clawed at the front of his robes, apparently in awful discomfort.

"Did I mention I'm resigning?"

Fred laughs "You actually are joking, Perce … I don’t think I’ve heard you joke since you were .."

The air exploded.  
There was a terrible cry that pulled at the insides, that expressed agony of a kind neither flame nor curse could cause.  
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Percy yells and throws himself over Fred's body. "NO!!" " I didn't mean it!!" " I take it back!!!" "Fred!!!! "  
Percy was shaking his brother when George kneeled beside them. Fred's eyes stared without seeing, the ghost of his last laugh still etched upon his face. 

and that's when it happened.. 

Percy feels a weight lifting from his heart and a purple spark burst out him and dissolved to the air  
and he knows, he just KNOWS the price his family just paid for his ability to joke about.

The end  
*******


End file.
